megabot/plugins/conspiracy_generator_plugin(1).js

// plugins/conspiracy-generator.js - Conspiracy Theory Generator Plugin
module.exports = {
    init(bot) {
        console.log('Conspiracy Generator plugin initialized');
    },
    
    cleanup(bot) {
        console.log('Conspiracy Generator plugin cleaned up');
    },
    
    commands: [
        {
            name: 'conspiracy',
            description: 'Generates a wild conspiracy theory',
            execute(context, bot) {
                const theory = module.exports.generateConspiracy();
                bot.say(context.replyTo, `🕵️ CONSPIRACY ALERT: ${theory}`);
            }
        },
        
        {
            name: 'deepstate',
            description: 'Generates a deep state conspiracy',
            execute(context, bot) {
                const theory = module.exports.generateDeepStateConspiracy();
                bot.say(context.replyTo, `🏛️ DEEP STATE EXPOSED: ${theory}`);
            }
        },
        
        {
            name: 'aliens',
            description: 'Generates an alien conspiracy',
            execute(context, bot) {
                const theory = module.exports.generateAlienConspiracy();
                bot.say(context.replyTo, `👽 ALIEN DISCLOSURE: ${theory}`);
            }
        }
    ],
    
    generateConspiracy() {
        const entities = [
            'The government', 'Big Tech', 'The Illuminati', 'Lizard people', 'The media',
            'Scientists', 'Your ISP', 'Netflix', 'The postal service', 'Spotify',
            'Discord mods', 'Wikipedia editors', 'McDonald\'s', 'Amazon', 'Your phone',
            'Smart TVs', 'The weather app', 'Dating apps', 'Social media influencers',
            'Coffee shops', 'Your smart fridge', 'GPS satellites', 'Streaming services'
        ];
        
        const methods = [
            'is using', 'has been secretly controlling', 'is manipulating', 'has been hiding',
            'is programming', 'has been infiltrating', 'is weaponizing', 'has been monitoring',
            'is experimenting with', 'has been harvesting', 'is controlling', 'has been replacing',
            'is encoding messages in', 'has been mind-controlling people through', 'is tracking you via',
            'has been brainwashing people with', 'is stealing your data through', 'has been plotting using'
        ];
        
        const objects = [
            'banana peels', 'Wi-Fi signals', 'pizza toppings', 'your sleep schedule', 'memes',
            'your Spotify playlists', 'traffic lights', 'automatic toilets', 'elevator music',
            'your weird dreams', 'typos in your texts', 'loading screens', 'captcha puzzles',
            'your phone battery', 'microwave radiation', 'bluetooth connections', 'your autocorrect',
            'the way USB cables work', 'your Netflix recommendations', 'ads for things you just talked about',
            'the fact that you always lose one sock', 'why your earbuds get tangled', 'construction zones'
        ];
        
        const purposes = [
            'to control your mind', 'to steal your personal data', 'to make you buy more stuff',
            'to influence elections', 'to create the perfect consumer', 'to track your movements',
            'to predict your behavior', 'to control the weather', 'to make you addicted to social media',
            'to harvest your emotional energy', 'to test new forms of mind control', 'to create chaos',
            'to distract you from the real truth', 'to program you to like pineapple on pizza',
            'to make you forget important things', 'to synchronize your blinks with 5G towers',
            'to collect your personal conversations', 'to influence your dating choices',
            'to make you perpetually tired', 'to control your coffee consumption', 'to manipulate your mood',
            'to create artificial scarcity', 'to make you question reality'
        ];
        
        const entity = module.exports.randomChoice(entities);
        const method = module.exports.randomChoice(methods);
        const object = module.exports.randomChoice(objects);
        const purpose = module.exports.randomChoice(purposes);
        
        return `${entity} ${method} ${object} ${purpose}! Wake up, sheeple! 🐑`;
    },
    
    generateDeepStateConspiracy() {
        const organizations = [
            'The Shadow Council', 'The Breakfast Club Illuminati', 'The Committee of Suspicious Cats',
            'The Order of the Sacred Meme', 'The Brotherhood of Lost Socks', 'The Cabal of Midnight Snackers',
            'The Society of People Who Press Elevator Buttons Multiple Times', 'The Guild of Left Shoe Conspirators'
        ];
        
        const plans = [
            'has been secretly replacing all birds with government drones',
            'is controlling global weather patterns through strategic cloud seeding with glitter',
            'has been programming trees to spy on park conversations',
            'is using grocery store self-checkout machines to scan your soul',
            'has been hiding interdimensional portals in public restrooms',
            'is controlling the stock market through interpretive dance',
            'has been encoding secret messages in elevator music',
            'is using traffic cones to create a massive summoning circle'
        ];
        
        const evidence = [
            'Ever notice how pigeons always know where you are?',
            'Why do you think they call it "cloud" storage?',
            'Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? Exactly.',
            'Think about it - when was the last time you saw a bird mechanic?',
            'Why else would they put cameras in every corner?',
            'The evidence is literally falling from the sky (bird poop = tracking powder)',
            'Wake up! Your microwave has been judging your food choices!',
            'The dots are connecting themselves - that\'s not normal!'
        ];
        
        const org = module.exports.randomChoice(organizations);
        const plan = module.exports.randomChoice(plans);
        const proof = module.exports.randomChoice(evidence);
        
        return `${org} ${plan}. ${proof} Connect the dots! 🔗`;
    },
    
    generateAlienConspiracy() {
        const alienTypes = [
            'Interdimensional beings', 'Time-traveling dolphins', 'Shapeshifting houseplants',
            'Quantum squirrels', 'The real owners of Area 51', 'Alien IT support staff',
            'Extraterrestrial food critics', 'Space cats', 'Cosmic customer service representatives',
            'Intergalactic middle management'
        ];
        
        const activities = [
            'have been secretly running all tech support call centers',
            'are the ones who designed traffic patterns in major cities',
            'have been controlling human fashion trends for decades',
            'are responsible for why printers never work when you need them',
            'have been programming humans to form orderly queues',
            'are the reason why you can never find matching socks',
            'have been studying human behavior through reality TV shows',
            'are the ones making sure your phone battery dies at the worst possible moment',
            'have been controlling global meme distribution networks',
            'are secretly running all social media algorithms'
        ];
        
        const reasons = [
            'to prepare Earth for the great intergalactic customer satisfaction survey',
            'because they find human confusion highly entertaining',
            'to collect data on human inefficiency for their research',
            'as part of a cosmic social experiment about patience',
            'because they\'re writing the ultimate guide to human behavior',
            'to test if humans can evolve beyond needing instruction manuals',
            'as payment for their cosmic Netflix subscription',
            'because they lost a bet with another alien species',
            'to determine if humans are ready for advanced technology (spoiler: we\'re not)',
            'because they\'re cosmic anthropologists studying "primitive" civilizations'
        ];
        
        const aliens = module.exports.randomChoice(alienTypes);
        const activity = module.exports.randomChoice(activities);
        const reason = module.exports.randomChoice(reasons);
        
        return `${aliens} ${activity} ${reason}. The truth is out there! 🛸`;
    },
    
    randomChoice(array) {
        return array[Math.floor(Math.random() * array.length)];
    }
};